Dating can be incredibly difficult. For so many reasons. Most, of which, I’m not going to get into today. But think about it. Does anyone really enjoy dating? And if you do, aren’t you a red flag to potential partners out there? It is so difficult to meet someone, sort through all the junk to finally get you to a first date. As someone who found themselves suddenly single after 7 years, I can relate to dating being a difficult process. There is a lot of risk that goes into meeting someone. Emotional risk, and physical risk if this is the first time you’re meeting them. What I’m getting at is that there needs to be better apps out there to help you find people. And maybe there is?
There is a new app on the market called First. The premise behind the First app is to help you find people with similar interests. Which means it’s based on finding commonality between two people, rather than basing it on looks. Let me start by saying that I like this idea. Especially if you’re looking for a partner. That said, if you’re just looking for a hook up, what difference does it make how much you have in common? My last sentence may sound a bit superficial, but if you’re physically attracted to someone and the end game is sexual, what difference does it make who their favourite artist is? That also sounds pretty cold and heartless, but I stand by my statements.
Why I like the idea of this app is because it allows you to get to know someone (kind of) before meeting them. The way it works is that you can list certain things that you like. Museums, restaurants, concerts, bands etc. You list those and someone else who has those listed as well can connect with you. But here are the drawbacks:
- There is no opportunity to chat with the person in advance. Meaning there is no messaging component to this app. How can you get to know someone without that capability? Just because you have a restaurant, or band in common doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to be a good partner. Even if we take looks out of it, First is making the assumption that one or two things in common equates a lasting relationship. And maybe for some people it does. But I wonder if you can base an entire app, and subsequently a relationship around this idea?
- You don’t get to know anything about the person until you meet up with them. First does suggest that you meet in a public place. Maybe one of the places you’ve listed in your dating profile, and ensure that it’s public. Very public. If you’re a no show, however, First may not allow you to use the app. Which only makes sense. Who likes to be stood up? The issue I have with this is if there is no mechanism to message the person, what if they can’t come due to some kind of emergency? Is that fair? I would rather the ability to get a message from someone indicating that they can’t come, rather than getting stood up. And what if it is an emergency? Most people would want to give the person a heads up. It’s common courtesy.
With so many dating apps on the market, does this one have a fighting chance? If I’m being honest, I don’t think so. As someone who used a few popular dating apps about a year ago, this doesn’t appeal to me from a dating perspective. It’s not all about looks for me, so I’m not trying to be superficial. What I am saying is that part of the dating app experience is that you can weed out the people you don’t want to meet. It’s possible that you have some fundamental differences that you know can’t be reconciled? I’d rather know those up front, than waste my time putting in time and effort to meet someone.
Call me old fashioned, but I like to get to know someone before going on a date with them. And if the only thing we have in common is that we both like the Killers, there’s a good chance that our relationship won’t survive past the concert. That being said, a lot of people meet and fall in love based on one commonality. I just don’t see this as a viable dating app option.
Try established like eharmony or OkCupid! Apps that really finds people for you based on how you answer questions. And not just random or silly questions. Questions that get down to the heart of who you are and what you stand for. What are your views on intimacy? What are your views on religion? These are often deal breakers in relationships, and I think that more weight should be given to them. Rather than trying to find a partner who also likes to snowboard. The First app doesn’t seem like the best option for finding a lasting and sustainable relationship, but as always that is just my opinion. For those of you are looking for someone, happy hunting, and have fun!