Ending a relationship is never good – at least in the moment. You’re breaking up with someone. Whether it’s necessary or not, you have to go through all of those emotions associated with the end of a relationship. I remember it was a year after my ex and I had broken up, and someone suggested that I maybe wasn’t over him. I was definitely over him, but it took me a while to go through some of those emotions. Not because I wasn’t happy that it ended. But think about it this way. When you’re with someone for a long time (7 years to be exact), you build a future together. Even if it’s just in your head. You have to give yourself time to grieve the loss of the unknown that you were going to have together.
In today’s social media-obsessed culture, going through a breakup can really eff with your head. I’m on the fence with what I’m about to say, if I’m being honest. You have two options – be really honest with your followers about your breakup in terms of your feelings. Or you can fake it until you make it. I’m on the fence because I don’t think the latter works for everyone. For me seeing anyone post anything on social media can make me jealous or have emotions. I’m extremely vulnerable to the goings on around me. If I see someone on vacation, it makes me want to be on vacation as well. I think is FOMO on happiness. That said, be careful about how you use social media, but consider these tips to help you get through a break-up.
Hide
No, I’m not talking about going into the witness protection program. But if your relationship was that bad, we should talk offline. What I’m about to say might sound kind of harsh, but if you block or unfriend them, they won’t be able to see how awesome you’re doing. And that’s the goal here right? To pour salt in that wound? I kid, but if you want them to see how fabulous your life is post-breakup, don’t block. But if you’re not ready to see them, hide them from your feed. Hide them on Facebook or mute them on Twitter. You can also unfollow them on Instagram and they might not notice if they have a ton of followers. Blocking is an option also.
Selfies
While it might be tempting to post some incredibly sad selfies, this isn’t the way to go. In fact, you should try to avoid posting selfies at all. Why? Because it looks like you’re alone. If you post a picture of yourself with someone else, it looks like you’re out doing something. No one will know your motivation for going out and doing something. Maybe your best friend forced you to wear real clothes for the day and get out of the house. The more pictures, the better. Another good tip – take a bunch of photos over a weekend (wearing different outfits), and then post them over the course of a week or two. Your ex isn’t going to know when you took them.
Avoid Anything Self Deprecating or Overly Cryptic
It’s easy to turn to social media when you want to vent or rant. But don’t. I mean, this isn’t a good move in general. In addition, you should try to avoid trashing the person who you feel ripped your heart out of your chest. Doing this doesn’t make you a winner in the situation, and it makes you look petty. My advice? Throw some darts at a picture of his face. Or trash talk him to one of your friends over a bottle of chardonnay. I would also suggest that you shouldn’t post sad songs on social media either. This is something that I would do along with an extremely cryptic post that would actually worry my friends. If you want to share some music that you’re listening to with your followers call it “Song of the Day” and give it a positive label.
Breaking up in the age of social media isn’t easy. I said some of this in a tongue in cheek kind of manner, but you have to decide for yourself how you want it to play out. Your best bet is to put on a brave face to the world, but let your close friends know what’s going on. You don’t have to go to the lengths I’ve described to show him how good you’re doing, but that’s not necessarily a bad strategy either. Taking a break from their social media profiles isn’t a bad thing, as it lets you focus on yourself. Which is what you need at this time.