I know what you’re thinking – there are more signs to tell me that I’ve got a crazy girlfriend? There are so many signs. If you’re in denial, this is the list for you. Otherwise, you’re going to spend the next few years with a crazy person.
25. She’s deeply religious.
Nothing’s wrong with spirituality, but too much dedication to ANY religion is downright scary. Don’t assume she’s crazy just because she goes to church, but keep an eye on how devoted she is. Sometimes it’s a sign that she’s susceptible, and it might cause problems down the road for you.
26. Stability bores her.
Check out #21 in this series. Can you say, Sylvia Plath? Usually, a relationship makes people want to stay in and spend time with their partner. If she’d rather go out – every night – than stay home and watch TV, she likely has a problem with stability and gets bored easily. After I got out of a long-term relationship, I definitely felt this way. I knew it was a phase though. I just wanted to have fun. Once I got into a relationship my attitude changed. If hers doesn’t, you might want to reconsider who you spend time with.
27. She has no or very little contact with her family or anyone from her past.
There’s got to be a reason for this. You can side with her and believe the whole world’s against her, or you can choose to be realistic.
28. She’s extremely competitive.
There’s nothing wrong with a little competition, but extreme competitiveness isn’t a good sign. Especially in a relationship. If you beat her at a game, and she starts to get upset or angry, run for the hills.
29. She’s way too much fun.
Crazy girls know how to have fun. Maybe too much fun. I think the reason for this is that they don’t care or think about the consequences. Like having to get up for work the next morning.
30. Her personality changes wildly when she drinks.
We have all gone out, had some drinks, and made a fool of ourselves. But if this happens every night, or even every weekend for that matter, she needs some help. Worse, if her personality actually changes – like she’s an angry drunk, it’s time to say good-bye.
31. She twists your words.
There’s a fine line between misunderstanding something you’re saying, and completely twisting it around. As soon as you know the difference, you’ll be able to spot your girlfriend’s craziness.
32. She tries to control your friendships.
Control is a bad thing in any relationship. But she shouldn’t tell you who you can and can’t hang out with. Unless there’s an actual problem – like he hit on her. Or she saw him dealing drugs in a CVS parking lot. But that should still be your call. If she tells you in black and white terms who you can’t hang out with, she’s got to go.
33. She’s mean to waiters.
Deeply insecure people tend to take out their frustrations on those whose job it is to serve them. Stay with her if you want, but you’ll need to do a lot of overtipping if you ever want to go to the same place twice.
34. She gets a lot of bruises.
This doesn’t mean that she’s crazy. I get a lot of bruises (maybe I am crazy?). If she starts telling people that you gave them to her, then she’s crazy. This is something you’ll want to watch out for.
35. Every month she tells you she’s worried she’s pregnant.
All women have been in a situation where we’ve missed our periods. It happens to me a lot. But I don’t assume that I’m pregnant every single month. Nor would I suggest that to my boyfriend unless there was something to discuss. Sharing information about your cycle is one thing, but being dramatic and saying you’re pregnant every month means you should run away. Maybe one of these times she really will get pregnant? And the only thing worse than a crazy girlfriend is a crazy baby mama.
36. She makes public scenes.
Crazy people like to dominate others, and if she knows you’re uncomfortable, she also knows you’ll say whatever it takes to get her to calm down. Point: Crazy Girl.
37. She builds you up… then tears you down.
When things are good, you’re the king of the world and can accomplish anything you set your mind to. When things are bad, you’re a useless piece of crap who will never achieve a single one of your goals. This will fuck with your head. And why would you do that to a person that you love or care about? Yes, I get mad at my boyfriend. He makes me angry sometimes. That’s life, but I would never tell him that he’s useless or be disrespectful in any way. Think about that the next time you’re fighting. Fights are normal. How you handle them demonstrates how crazy you are.
38. She’s always telling you how lucky you are to be with her.
There’s that narcissism again. People who compliment themselves in this way are almost never being truthful. And unless it’s part of some cute little joke, who wants to hear that, anyway? A joke is one thing. But if she says it daily or even weekly, she’s bat-shit-crazy.
39. She pokes holes in your condoms.
This is one that is hard to figure out. But if she’s tampered with birth control – either yours or hers – she’s not right in the head.