We’ve Got the Best (and Maybe Worst) New Year’s Eve Toasts For You

It’s New Year’s Eve and you’ve been invited to a party where you also have been asked to make a toast.  Or maybe you just want to make a toast because you’re fun that way.  What do you do?  Do you make one up on the fly? Or do you scour the internet looking for the perfect toast?  Well, if you’re likely to scour the internet, we’ve got some really good ones here for you to check out.

My Favorites

I have had, what I would call an eventful year.  I wouldn’t trade it for a more mundane year because I learned a lot. So much, actually.  But reflecting on that time can be negative for some. I am looking at it from a learning experience and I’m excited to get started on 2018, so these are some of my favorites:

• May all your troubles last as long as your new year’s resolutions. (Unknown)
• May the future be pleasant, the past a bright dream, and may our friends remain faithful and dear. (Unknown)
• May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future. (Unknown)
• The past is always tense, the future perfect. (Zadie Smith)
• Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience. (Eleanor Hibbert)
• You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. (C.S. Lewis)
• The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. (Eleanor Roosevelt)
• The distinction between the past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion. (Albert Einstein)
• Here’s champagne to our real friends, and real pain to our sham friends. (Unknown)
• It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. (Marlene Dietrich)

Like I said, these are ones that I find resonate with me and my current situation.  But these aren’t the only toasts you can make.  I do want to point out some toasts that I find interesting and/or outdated.  For whatever reason.  Maybe they’re sexist, or just not things we do anymore. This list is kind of funny, but depending on where you are, or who you’re with these might actually work.

Interesting and/or Outdated Toasts

• May we all be alive at this same time next year. (Unknown)
• Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer — and another one! (Unknown)
• Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. (Bill Vaughn)
• Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. (Homer Simpson)
• Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet. (Unknown)
• Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter, sermons and soda-water the day after. (Lord Byron)
• In victory, you deserve Champagne, in defeat, you need it. (Napoleon Bonaparte)
• Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. (Frank Sinatra)

I mentioned that I thought some of these were outdated simply because of when they were written.  Or the use of a specific gender.  But you can apply these across genders if you want.  I also wanted to highlight some of the more interesting ones.  Homer Simpson’s toast, for example.  I mean, you aren’t likely to take advice from Homer, but he kind of makes a point here.  When you find yourself in trouble, there’s a good chance that you’ve been drinking.  I should clarify that, when I find myself in trouble, it’s usually a direct result of alcohol.  But when said problems crop up, it’s also what I have turned to in the past to help alleviate the pain.  This one can be funny in the proper setting, but it might also be offensive.  If you plan to play this one, make sure it’s with the right crowd.

Any New Year’s Eve toast is essentially saying that it’s time to put the past in the past.  Make sure that this is the message that comes across.  This is a happy time of year.  Even if you had a crummy year, try to frame it in a positive light.  I only say this because of where I’ve been for the last two years, and how I’m feeling as I write this post.  I was deep in the depth of despair, and now I’m feeling hopeful of what is to come.  Make sure your toast is hopeful of the future.  The new year can be a bitter-sweet time for some.  Keep that in mind when choosing a toast.  If you’ve got examples of toasts that you think are particularly helpful – let us know. Happy New Years everyone!