Whoever said “Love don’t cost a thing” told a bigger lie than when Bush said read my lips “No new taxes.” Love is expensive. Very expensive. It can be monetary, emotional, mental even physical at times. Is it worth it? Well love can be wonderful. Love can be tragic. What becomes of love is up to you and your partner. Love takes sacrifice but it should not take more than you feel you are getting back in benefits. That is not healthy. So here are somethings that you should not be doing for the sake love.
[I] Will sex for love
Repeat after me; Love is love, and sex is sex. Guys get this at a very young age. Women seem to not get this fact very often or at all in some cases. At times women feel the need to have sex as an extension of love. It is a very big mistake to do this. It’s very critical you don’t do this when you are starting to go out with someone. Sex does not strengthen a relationship if it is failing unless that was the problem in the first place. Sex does not become love.
[II] Logically illogical
A white lie is like a white flag going up. That person has surrendered. They will no longer try. What have they given up on? Trying. They have realized that they don’t have to be a genuine person anymore. Don’t put logic on the sidewalk like it’s trash day people. If someone is able to lie to you over some nonsense then what happens the big stuff happens. STD’s, cheating, money, life plans and love. That’s right, they will lie about those too.
[III] Disappearing Act
Tell me if this sounds familiar. Your friend starts dating someone who is great but you don’t see them anymore. I don’t mean you go from girls/guys night out to only events. I mean you don’t see this person anymore at all. They don’t show up to the bar, Social Media meet ups or any of the things they use to like. Did they have high goals and for the most part were on track to meet them? Does it seem like they abandon those plans? Well guess what? This happens all the time. People lose who they are when they get infatuated with someone they date. You should never lose who you are in a relationship. If you do not keep your identity what are you brining to the table? That’s right nothing. No one wants to be with a person that has no worth. Make time for the other person but don’t follow them like a lost puppy.
[IV] Set guidelines and rules
Look if someone says they love you and you have not had a talk about being in a relationship; chances are they never will be in a relationship with you. Why? Most likely you are already sleeping with them and are committed to them because they used the words “I love you.” Newsflash, they’re not committed to you in any way, shape or form. Until you have a title other than friend. That will be what others know you as and what your non committed partner sees you as. You have to set guidelines about what you will accept from a person. If you are alright and can justify to yourself that being friends with benefits to someone you love is acceptable then so be it. Most people cannot so set some ground rules that can not be crossed. These rules are for you to live by. They’re to keep you in check.
[V] Why keep a penny with a hole in it
Integrity is one of the few thing you can’t buy no matter how rich you are. If that is the case why would you keep someone under the illusion that they still own such a priceless commodity. If someone cheats on you don’t give a 2nd chance to them. Why? Well catching someone who is cheating means you caught them that one time out of god knows how many other times. A person does not just lie once. One lie has to cover another lie and another lie. You are worth more than that. Don’t sell yourself short to people who are really not worth the time, effort, or love.