- The Issue
Do you find it that you are always the Oprah or Dr. Phil to your friends? I am starting to find it hard to say comforting things to a friend who is dealing with what she describes as a relationship but to everyone else seems to be anything but a relationship by any stretch of the word. As a guy I know what her ‘quote on quote’ relationship is but do you say anything? Every week seems like a major catastrophic fail on communication between them.
- The Advice
When it first happened, you really did care and were supportive. I mean, I can tell you as a guy it’s not easy to find a platonic friend that your girlfriend does not feel threaten by. So you try to decipher her words through the sobs and snotty sniffles. The next few times. You try to contribute something you hope is more helpful. Maybe the voice of reason. Who better than a guy to give the male bash/play book point of view. Hey snap out of it! You’re just a booty call, trust me, he is not in to you like that. There will be no titles for you. Just speed dial under a code word.
- The WTF moment
If that still does not work and your patience starts to wear thin. You find yourself fighting the urge scream ‘Are you stupid or something?’ Instead, you ask her “if he treats you so badly, why are you still with him?’ You tell her that even though you might love him, you fight all the time, you are always crying, or angry, or hurt. All this is not worth the drama. With the overwhelming amount of evidence to support your theory you assume that they will get it through their head that maybe this guy is not right for them.
She agrees with you but the very next week, the tears and the drama start over again. You remind her of everything she has complained about, everything you have heard from her own lips, you read back texts she has received, voice mails even the DNA from the other woman that some how ended up on his clothes. Ok, maybe that is a bit much but you get the idea. This is when you get reminded you are unable to help your friend because she has issues. You up and just let her know how you really feel about her man.
- The Red Flag
RED LIGHT with a cop behind you! Although she will forgive her man, she will not so easily forget those things you said to her about him. From this moment on your opinions, no matter how helpful are non and void. Her first thought will be ‘you just don’t like him’ or ‘ you have it in for him’, and the stand by line, ‘he is not that bad just want to get at me’.
Never hate on your platonic girlfriend’s man even if she is. In the end she just wants you to listen to her. She likes having a guy that she can talk to that is not trying to get in her pants. In all honesty she doesn’t really care about your opinion one way or another. She just wants to get away from the drama her man brings but not feel the pitch fork her girlfriends are going to bring. You are her proof that a guy does exist. Just be supportive of her no matter what she decides to do about the “relationship”