Ok, let’s face it. Guys we’re not the smartest people out there. Yes we know how to play the game. Hell, we invented the game. But like all great players we have a hard time transitioning from player to coach to owner. Women seem to be able to handle this a lot better than guys. They seem to know just what to say. They have a built-in sensor or something. While guys tend to not have this nifty gift.
1st let me clear some things up for you. I am not talking about the guys out there that are just jerks. Honestly women you knew he was a jerk before you got into that mix bowl and stirred things up. No, what I am talking about is that nice guy that sometimes says things that make you look at him like “WTF” were you thinking. I have found myself on the end of that look a few times.
Then there are the things you say but mean something else. You say you are sorry but then do it again and again. It is not a good look. It comes to the point when you say one thing and she knows it means another all together. That too is not a good look. Here is my list of things a guy should not say to women. I thank those of you that sent in your own list. Sorry, I could not use them all.
I. You’re good but not as good as her
What are you thinking? I don’t care she is the one that asked the question. I don’t care if she is the one that said to be honest and she can take it. The fact is, she cannot take it and it is not ok to ever ever ever say that. If she ask you if she is good. The answer is “you are like sunshine on a warm day”
II. My last girlfriend or The last girl I dated
I know those are not a full sentence. It does not have to be. You were half out your mind when you said the full one. You had to be. It is the only thing that makes sense. Those words in that order should never be said to your current girl. It does not matter if your current has a title or not.
III. Do you & I’ma do me
So what you are saying is. Let’s just be friends with benefits. What she hears is “I’m not good enough to be with full-time.”
IV. What’s the issue?
You may not see what the big deal is. You may not see what the issue is. You, you, you…See a theme here? It’s not about you. It’s about an issue in your relationship that was big enough for her to try to communicate to you about. You should be happy she did that instead of letting it build then blow. So, in the future just ask how can we fix this instead.
V. Who said what?
Calling your lady an elephant is not only mean but also a very quick way to end that relationship. The fact of the matter is that she is an elephant. She does not forget anything. So if you said something she will remember. Now the thing is; I have found that while all women do not forget; they can however remember wrong and out of order. It all depends on the state of mind they are in. Since the only time this conversation comes up is when you are arguing or fighting. Don’t deny you said it. You did say it. We have established that. This is not a fight you are going to win. Apologize and keep it moving.
VI. I’ll never
You might as well say I am lying through my teeth right now to you. There is no way you can say I will never anything. Things happen, situations occur and we’re all human. No guy ever intents to hurt his girl. Well unless she cheated on him and he is playing out an incredibly complex revenge scheme. (Insert evil laugh here). You build up walls. People you care about get a ladder to climb over that wall. Once inside they can and will do things they should not do, those things hurt you. They do this not because they want to but because that is our nature. We say and do things that are not nice. The key is to minimize this. Saying you will never is not the way to do that because women are elephants.
VII. It is what it is”
Just because it is what it is now does not mean it has to stay that way. Things can change and there is always a potential for change. It is what it is, in its self is not wrong. It is just the meaning behind the sentence that drives women crazy. Humm. Don’t say that one either. I meant makes them uncomfortable. What they hear is that you don’t want to change and you are happy the way things are. That may not be what you mean but that is not what you just said. Learn some synonyms and expand you speech.
VIII. It meant nothing
It may have just been a quick kiss (does not matter if you were drunk), one night stand (again does not matter if you were drunk) or worse of all; a continued 2nd relationship. It may have just been fun for you and no emotions were tied to this other woman. But guess what, it means something to your main lady. It meant a whole lot. Show her some respect by recognizing that. You have done enough already.
IX. You use to be…
She used to be what? She used to be good enough for you. Now she is not? She used to do the things you like. Now she does not? She used to be perfect. Now she is not? You don’t mean it that way but that is how it comes out. Guess what? You use to be a nice guy before that comment. Never say “you use to be” to a woman. She will automatically replace the words “you use to be” with “I am no longer good enough for him.” Which if repeated enough will lead to one of two things; [A] She becomes resentful and spiteful or [B] gets low self esteem and miserable. Either way it’s not a good thing for a relationship.
X. Sorry your hurt
Are you really sorry or are you just going through the motions. Even if you really meant it. It does not sound that way. After all it was you that hurt her in the first place. Just apologize for what you did not the outcome. It’s a given she is hurt. That is not the issue. What you did is.
XI. Your friend looks hot
You might as of well just have said her sister is hot because that it is the something to her. You should never check out your girl’s friends. I know we’re guys we are going to do it but don’t do it so openly and use some common sense. Stating things like this in public to her of all people is not a smart move.
XII. The last stupid thing you said
It may have been an innocent remark that you said and she may have had an attitude for only a few moments then played if off like everything was ok; but she will remember. It goes into her file of reasons you are not worth her time. Once that file system fills up. You are out of there. So just think before you speak.