If you’ve been to a bridal shower, then you have likely witness the “how well do you know your significant other” game. I am going to one next weekend, so I will be sure to watch out for this game. It’s usually filled with questions like “how does your partner take his coffee”. Or “what was the name of your partners first pet?” If the bride knows all the answers, it means she has been paying attention to her fiance. But does that mean that she truly knows him? I think of some of these questions and my boyfriend, and I’m not sure that I know the answer to them. So does that mean I don’t know him? Or are there more substantial questions you can think of that would demonstrate this relationship better? Well, if we could put a quiz together it would look something like this:
Where Does He Want to Retire
If your finance is dead set up on living somewhere rural, but you always say yourself retiring by the beach, that’s something you might want to talk about before you approach retirement.
What Would He Never Forgive You For?
This is big in my opinion. You should know it. Not because it would ever happen, but this is huge in understanding your partners limits. We all screw up in relationships. Some of us, more than others. So it’s important to know what those limits are.
Does He Have Any Debt?
So long as he’s been able to pay the bills, and you can go out once in a while, you might not have had a reason to look into your partners finances. But you should know if he has some major debt that would prevent him from qualifying for a mortgage.
What Faith Does He Want To Raise Children?
If any. But religion is a big one for people, so make sure the two of you are on the same page. You might not even want to have children, but knowing this ahead of time will help you when it comes to having those discussions down the road.
How Does He Feel About Prenups?
It’s not a fun subject, but it’s one worth talking about. Does your partner believe in prenups? If so, what would those prenups say? Would they expire after a certain amount of time? How much time? And why does he want one? Or not want one?
Has He Ever Been to Therapy?
Your partner doesn’t owe you full details as to why he went to therapy, but if there has been some major event in his life that put him in therapy, that’s something you should know about. If something sent your partner to therapy, that was a life-altering event.
What Does He Consider Cheating?
This is a pretty big one! Would your partner leave you for kissing someone else? Sending flirtatious messages to someone else? Or, perhaps, simply not telling a man who was sending youflirtatious messages to stop? You don’t want to be caught off guard if your partner leaves you, all because you didn’t tell a flirty coworker to leave you alone.
Has He Ever Been Engaged or Married Before?
Hopefully, you know if your partner has ever been married before. But you may not know if he’s been engaged before. People can feel very ashamed of broken engagements, and since they aren’t actual marriages, they can keep them a secret. But you should know what made your partner decide not to spend his life with someone—someone whom he almost married.
What Does He Do When He is Under Stress?
It’s important to recognize your partner’s behavior when he’s under stress. He may not tell you he’s under so much stress that he needs to be left alone, so you have to identify that on your own. And he should know the same about you!
What is His Worst Characteristic?
Not only should you know what your partner’s worst characteristic is, but you should also know if he is aware of it, if he is willing to work on it, and if you are willing to work with him on it. Also, will you stay with him if he can never fix it?
What is His Ultimate Career Goal?
Your partner’s career goals say a lot about him, and they give you some guidelines on what he will prioritize in life. They also tell you a bit about the type of partner and parent he can be one day. Some careers are incredibly time-consuming and stressful. You should know if you’re signing up for a life with someone who will often have to travel, work late at night, and just not be available to you and your children.
Would He Ever Enlist in a War?
Surprise! You probably didn’t see that one coming! But the world is not exactly stable right now, so it’s something you should discuss, especially if you’re going to have children.
How Important is Sex to Him?
If sex and intimacy are one and the same to your partner, that’s important for you to know. Should you always offer to stay late at work, or say yes to every happy hour invite with friends, that could mean you don’t have much sex with your partner and—for him—your bond could diminish.
What is His Least Favourite Living Habit of Yours?
You can’t be the perfect roommate, and you only have so much time and energy to tighten up some of your less-than-great habits. Shouldn’t you know which one should take priority?
What Does Marriage Mean to Him?
You should both discuss what marriage means to you. How does your relationship change? What are your responsibilities to each other? What does this commitment represent? It’s a good conversation to have before walking down the isle.