It’s that day again. Everywhere you look you see couples. Social media are full of those happy people. This is the time when most people start to think about the one that might have moved on. Walking away is a hard thing to do. How do you know if you are doing it prematurely? Should you get back with your ex? It is a hard thing to come to terms with. Don’t mistake pining for love. The key is to try to keep a relationship working before it is broken beyond repair.

It is hard to really let go of someone. I have been there. Let’s say you have decided to get your partner back, how do you go about doing that?  Well first ask yourself; is it worth the hassle that it will take to get them back?  Go through my rules for a break up and see if you should give that person another try.


I.  Why The Break Up?

You and your partner won’t agree on everything.  Maybe you’re a tad bit obsessive about tech and podcast, but your partner feels that more time could be spent watching House Hunters International. There are bigger things to fight about but if it every fight ends up with you in your mancave and her somewhere else, it may be time to end it. However, if your relationship has more up’s than downs then you should try to work it out again.


II.  Perfect Timing.

When we met I was a kid at heart in a man’s body. You were an old woman in a young things body. It just did not work out. Now look at us. I have grown up into a mature man and you have learned to enjoy life. Timing is an important factor in all relationships.  You have to ask yourself some questions. Are we better people of because of time apart and will we fall back into our old routine?  Are you too busy for the other person? Was that an issue that will be fixed now? Just because you miss someone does not mean the problems are going to go away.


III.  Your partner didn’t replace you.

Guys love sex, there I said it. After a break up no matter how hurt we are at the time; we will seek someone to make us feel better and forget you. In our minds that is not replacing you. We are not dating this person. There are women that feel the same way.  However, most women cry, eat, talk and stay busy.  If more than 3 months have passed and you are still pining after your ex. Go work it out with them.


VI.  Infidelity is not the end of your relationship.

Say what? Yes, couples can move past cheating and continue to build a healthy relationship. The fact is infidelity happens. What you have to ask yourself is if you can get past that? I don’t mean for the week, month or year.  If you choose to get back with someone after they have betrayed your trust then you have to really let it go.  How do you define infidelity will go a long way to your willingness to accept or reject them. Sleeping with someone while you were broken up is not cheating. Then again if they still live with you even if you two are broken up, might change your definition. Cheating doesn’t always indicate a lack of love.  It could be a lack of judgement or respect.  Both in themselves are issues that should be addressed. I can not speak for you. This one is up to you. If you can let it go do it. If you can’t, keep it moving to the next one.


V.  Perfect Just Walked Out The Door

I come home we talk, we watch TV. Sometime we have sex, sometimes we just go to sleep. We don’t even go out anymore. Going to the movies would be an event, a highlight even. Does that or something similar sound familiar? It’s not easy to appreciate your partner when they are there in  your face 24-7. It is even harder when you incorrectly assume that a break-up is what’s needed, when in fact all that was needed was a change.


VI.  Make The Pain Stop!

Your ex hurt you so you want your ex to suffer.  You have been ignoring phone calls, text, IM’s, Facebook messages but yet you later read them and cry over and over. You are only hurting yourself.  If you are beating yourself up more than you feel you are hurting them. Cut it out go talk to them.


VII.  That’s Not My Name.

You hate your ex (check), you’re over your ex (check), you’re so sure of this that you’re out on a date (check). The only thing is that you can not stop thinking about your ex. The conversation seems to always work its way back to the topic of your ex.  That is your subconscious telling you something. Do you hear it? We do and so does your date, it says go talk to your ex.


VIII. The One.

There is a relationship that’s perfect for you but maybe that was not it. Maybe that was it. If every relationship you have after your ex just does not compare, then you should maybe try to be together once more.


IX. The Twins.

If the sex was so good that it is the only reason you miss your ex. DO NOT get back with them. Obviously you do not have anything other than the wrong parts invested. This is not fair to them or you. In the end they will either become a booty call or friends with benefits. In either case, if they have feelings invested in you they will resent you over time. If you feel broke without them and miss them splurging on you also known as tricking; DO NOT get back with them.  Not only is it a sign of low character it is also not fair to them.

By Rubens Saintel

Proud father, #Haitian, photographer, consultant, writer & entrepreneur. I love video games, movies, plays, technology (surprise), beta testing apps and all things sci-fi. | |