kim and kanye
Kim and Kanye
Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP, File

When Kim Kardashian first started dating Kanye West, we all thought that they would be the next Jay and Bey.  At least in terms of their power couple status.  With the two of them together, they could literally change the world.  And while they are certainly having an impact on the world, is being married to Kanye everything that Kim dreamed of?  In a recent appearance on the Alec Baldwin show, Kim admitted that she had to learn to let go in her marriage to Kanye.  But isn’t that a good thing?  Isn’t that what you want to do when you’re in a relationship?  She also indicated that she had to learn to be less independent.

While I think that men like a certain level of independence in a woman, I think they also like the fact that a woman can lean on them from time to time.  And yes, this whole post sounds incredibly sexist.  I am not saying any of this as a blanket statement for men or women in general, but I think when you get into a relationship, things change.  You change your idea about what you want out of life.  Your goals change.  Even your aspirations change.  So I’m not completely surprised that when Kim started dating Kanye, she had to make some of those changes.  I think we all do.

But what about how Kanye has been perceived in the media lately.  All you have to do is Google “Kanye West” to see 10 different posts about what he’s got going on.  For example, Kanye has just donated $73,000 for Chicago mayoral candidate Amara Enyia and he’s been nominated for a Grammy in the category the Best Rock Song.  Further, he might even perform at the Grammy’s.  While none of these things are particularly bad, it seems a bit like he’s all over the place.  Which can certainly affect a marriage, and even a family.

Kanye officially changed his name to Ye back in September.  What’s interesting is that the two have always been really supportive of one another, despite their differences when it comes to politics.

But getting back to this idea of independence.  Some headlines are saying that she gave up that independence like it’s a bad thing. I am not married, but I am in a relationship, and part of what makes that relationship successful is being vulnerable.  What does that entail?  Letting your guard down and dare I say it, giving up some of your independence.  I think the perception is that when two people enter into a relationship, they will remain the exact same two people for the rest of their lives.  But that’s not true, and I think that’s what Kim is saying. It’s difficult to be in a relationship if both sides are completely independent of the other.  If you’re not including your partner in any decisions you’re making, then you’re operating in an independent manner.  That’s not how a relationship works, and I think that’s what Kim is saying when she said that she gave up some of her independence when she married Kanye West.  Nothing more. Nothing less.